On Reflections And Resolutions

Dear friends,

As the year comes to a close, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the year that has passed and resolving to make improvements in the New Year.

I want to invite you to expand on these practices in a way that sets you up for thriving with peace and joy.

Instead of focusing solely on how much you’ve achieved and produced in 2024, take some time to also appreciate how much you’ve grown and the challenges you’ve overcome. Give yourself credit for making it here and celebrate where and who you are now.

Here are three questions to guide your reflections:

• What challenges did I overcome this year, and what lesson did I take away from each?

• What are three things that I feel grateful for in my life right now and why?

• What are three things that I appreciate about myself and why?

It is also important to reflect and identify areas of growth. But instead of getting stuck on external goals and all that you want to do and achieve in the New Year, focus on how you want to BE in every moment: more self-compassionate, more present, and more aligned.

Here are three ways to create space for more being and allowing the doing to flow with greater ease:

• Practice self-compassion daily by speaking to yourself as you would to a dear friend, especially when things don’t go as planned. (You can read about the four keys to embodying self-compassion here.)

• Schedule tech-free time in your day (e.g. during meals or before bed) and consider deleting social media apps from your phone to allow yourself to be more present with life.

• Commit to pausing and quieting your mind every day and especially before making any major decisions, making sure you are being guided by love and faith, instead of lack and fear.

Resolve to show up to life with gratitude, compassion, and presence in each moment, and trust that your day, your week, and your year will transform in ways that you could never imagine.

I want to also thank you—for being here, for all that you are, for the light that you radiate into the world, and for being a part of this journey with me.

May this New Year bring you an abundance of peace, joy, and fulfillment.

And may you continue to grow, thrive, and embrace the gift of each moment, one day at a time.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Art of Letting Go

Dear friends,

December is upon us and instead of leaning into the frenzy of the end of the year push, I want to invite you to lean into the art of letting go.

Let go of the expectations, let go of the pressures, let go of the artificial timelines, let go of the people-pleasing, let go of the guilt, and let go of the endless pursuit of perfection.

Give yourself permission to breathe and remember that you are enough and you are worthy of peace, ease, and joy, just as you are.

You are not defined by your productivity or how much you achieve by the end of the year.

All that matters is the quality of the peace you feel within yourself.

So deepen your peace and allow yourself to thrive by mastering the art of letting go of anything that is weighing you down and keeping you stuck.

These tend to be thoughts, expectations, worries, stories, habits, and activities that pull you away from the power you have in the present moment. Notice them as they come up and simply choose to let them go.

Letting go of these things doesn’t mean you are being selfish, careless, or irresponsible.

You can still honor your commitments and authentically show up for others while letting go of the expectation to be perfect, the attachment to outcomes, stories of the past, worries about the future, the “shoulds” and “have tos”, and anything that distracts you from the present moment - where life is truly happening.

This leads to being genuine, focused, and mindful - the opposite of being selfish, careless, and irresponsible.

So make this month the month to practice releasing, letting go, and lightening your load. It may be challenging at first and require some energy and focus, but the more you practice, the easier it will get.

Invest in letting go and deepening your presence in the here and now and may you start the next moment, the next day, and the next year lighter and more available to enjoy, create, and thrive.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Gift of Surrender

Dear friends,

Today’s letter is all about the gift of surrender.

Surrender is often misunderstood. Most people wrongly believe that to surrender means to give up or give in.

To surrender is to partner with a power far greater than ourselves, a power that is boundlessly loving, knowing, and abundant and always seeks the best possible outcome for us.

To surrender means to trust in this higher power to arrange all the pieces and to guide us, moment to moment, on how to take action and move through life with ease.

Now, “ease” does not necessarily mean “easy”. To move with ease, means to move without fear pulling us back and keeping us stuck, but it still requires our awareness, courage, and effort.

Therefore, surrendering a situation means giving up control, not to giving up on the situation.

It means we are recognizing our limited awareness, knowledge, and capacity as human beings, and recruiting the most powerful force there is to help us find our way.

There is no problem too complicated and no situation too hopeless for the light of surrender to not be able to pierce through it.

Unfortunately, surrendering initially feels scary to many of us. Either we are scared of losing control and being in the unknown or we are scared of the unfamiliarity of feeling light and unburdened, or both.

To choose to surrender is often the most self-compassionate and courageous step we can take.

By lightening our load and releasing our grips on how we think life or a situation should be, we can better settle into the present moment, allowing endless possibilities to emerge and show us how incredible everything can be.

It is from this place where we can co-create with the Source of all that is, pioneering new paths, innovating revolutionary solutions, and leading lasting change.

It takes time to build the foundation of trust to fully surrender, and that is expected. So please be patient and gentle with yourself even as you practice surrender.

But when the path ahead seems dark, when you don’t see a solution in sight and you don’t know how to find your way, I hope you’ll realize that this is life inviting you to let surrender light the way.

May you remember that the gift of surrender is available to you in every moment,

May you allow yourself the ease of moving with surrender - more and more with each passing day,

And may you continue to thrive.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

Fueling Hope in the Midst of Dark Times

Dear friends,

I know many of us are deeply affected by the barrage of oppression, bloodshed, and trauma that continues to be inflicted upon human beings by other human beings around the world.

I know at times, certain conflicts and crises may even seem hopeless as there appears to be no conscience, accountability, compassion, or end in sight.

This may even lead us to feel that our day-to-day efforts to move the needle and make a difference in the world are insignificant and inconsequential.

But we cannot give our power away to the dark forces that feed off of inciting fear, hatred, and otherization of fellow human beings.

We cannot let our energy, hope, and light be drained and beaten out of us.

So it is essential to remember the fundamental reality that we only have a certain amount of mental, physical, and emotional energy at our disposal.

Once our energy is depleted, it creates an opening for hopelessness to creep in. It is in these moments that getting back up and taking even the smallest steps to recharge our energy may feel incredibly daunting and impossible, further reinforcing any kind of hopelessness that might have emerged.

We all know that if we don’t charge our phone to the point that it powers off, it becomes completely useless and requires extra time to recharge once it is plugged in. The same is true for us.

Fueling hope requires fueling ourselves.

As much as we care about the state of the world, and because we care about the state of the world and showing up for others, we need to make sure that we do not teeter near empty in our own fuel tanks.

We need to be aware of all the distractions that are built into our lifestyles and systems that seek to pull us away from our light and drain our energy and hope.

We need to be incredibly protective our energy and take steps each day to recharge, even if all we can manage is a few moments of silence and prayer, remembering with our “why”, a couple of deep breaths, drinking some water to hydrate, reaching out to someone who is a safe space, or taking breaks from our devices and social media.

And if you believe that it is selfish to even think of taking care of your energy while so many are suffering, remember that your suffering does not reduce their suffering.

However, maintaining your energy levels and keeping your hope alive is an act of resistance that can create the space and opportunity for you to shine your light, take aligned action, and make positive changes happen.

So please take care of your energy and protect it at all times, now more than ever.

We are on the cusp of major global changes and transformations that will require your hope for a better future to be more steadfast than ever.

So may you remember to fuel yourself every single day,

May you continue to share your hope with all who experience you,

And may together, we birth a world where everyone is free to thrive.

Sending love, light, and gratitude,

Maliheh

How to Greet Resistance

Dear friends,

As we seek to level up our reality and creativity, we are bound to encounter resistance.

Just like a rocket faces the force of earth’s gravitational pull before it can orbit smoothly in space, the same is true when we are being ushered out of our old reality and into creating the new — whether this is with regard to our personal life, health, careers, businesses, or creative endeavors.

Resistance will be there to greet us and how we greet resistance will make all the difference in whether or not we are able to experience the breakthroughs that we need to birth the new.

Resistance can either distract us and derail us for days, months, or even years, or we can use it to fortify our resolve, clarify our vision, and propel us forward.

How we meet resistance typically depends on how we meet ourselves.

If we are overly critical and harsh towards ourselves, then when resistance pops up, we will use it as ammunition to beat ourselves up even more, going into spirals and wasting precious time repeating old unhealthy cycles over and over again.

But if we are accustomed to meeting ourselves with kindness and compassion, when resistance shows up, we can lovingly hold ourselves through the intense pressure it can create as we continue to take gentle, aligned action toward ushering in the new.

Resistance can present itself differently for everyone, but some common examples include:

• intense bouts of self-doubt

• sudden surge of fear, grief, or anxiety over multiple areas in your life

• physical aches and pains, disruptions in your sleep, and changes in appetite

• super tempting and seemingly shiny offers and opportunities emerging that are not aligned with your values and where you want to go

• a major crisis hits that requires your immediate attention and drains your energy

• and if you are really leveling up, you can experience a combination of these or even all of them at once!

This is why so many people stay stuck for most of their life. They never figure out how to handle the discomfort of moving through resistance and instead, end up sabotaging the process and the path to better possibilities.

Resistance has a way of bringing up our oldest wounds and deepest insecurities to the surface, just as we start gaining momentum toward the new.

It takes a lot of awareness and self-compassion to not get caught up in the internal and external pressures that arise and instead say, “Oh, Hello! Resistance, I see you! I’m going to be gentle with myself and take one tiny step forward with you.”

This can look like having a good cry in the morning over the grief that has surfaced, gently getting yourself ready, giving yourself a pep talk, and still showing up for that important meeting in the afternoon.

This is not about stuffing down your emotions or avoiding the intense pressure that is building up within and/or around you. This is about compassionately showing up for yourself while seeing this experience for what it is: resistance doing its job to make sure that you are strengthened and prepared for maintaining the next level and your new reality.

Therefore, resistance is not something to fear, but an experience to greet with patience and love.

It is certainly not always easy, but we can move through it with ease.

And on the other side of it, there is usually immense relief, clarity, and elevated confidence to help you glide into your new higher equilibrium — just like a spaceship glides into space.

So may you always greet yourself and resistance with gentleness and love,

And may you continue to thrive!

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

Why You Need to Allow Anger

My dear friends,

I know you may be a little surprised by the topic of today’s letter, but I invite you to get curious and stay with me as this is possibly the most important Thrive Letter thus far.

As women, many of us are conditioned to prioritize making others comfortable, which often leads us to denying our own emotional needs and experiences.

And if we actually allow ourselves to engage with our emotions, the socially acceptable emotions for women are typically limited to “positive” emotions such as happiness, gratitude, and excitement, and at times, sadness and grief.

Unfortunately, many of us are programmed out of ever allowing ourselves to feel anger, just like many men are programmed out of allowing themselves to feel sadness. Neither of which is healthy.

Anger is meant to be experienced by all human beings and it brings with it crucial data necessary for our wellbeing and thriving. (For more on this, check out my podcast with Harvard Medical School psychologist and author of Emotional Agility, Dr. Susan David).

We are meant to process anger to know when to set boundaries, protect ourselves, and stand up for others. Getting angry is sometimes the most loving thing that we can do. (For more on this, tune into my conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff, author of Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive).

But do you know what happens if we don’t let ourselves feel anger?

We stay stuck. We stay stuck in relationships, workplaces, environments, and systems that are abusive, unjust, and unhealthy.

In fact, a few days ago, I spoke to a woman who for 30 years had endured a marriage that was filled with unimaginable betrayal, infidelity, and financial, physical, and emotional abuse. She felt incredibly sad for herself and her situation, but never thought about leaving. When I asked her if she ever felt angry, she said “No”.

Given what I knew about her and her upbringing, I explained to her that this was likely because she didn’t even know that feeling angry was an option. If she were to feel her anger, she would not have been able to stay in the marriage for so long. This also meant that she wouldn’t be able to conform to her family’s idea of a “devoted wife”, which she was programmed to believe was what made her and her life worthwhile.

She couldn’t believe that she didn’t see any of this before and wished she had left thirty years ago…

Sadly, many women are programmed to endure and cope, not to challenge and demand change, which requires some level of healthy anger.

We are often robbed of the space, opportunity, and capacity to connect with our anger and this works to support the persistence of the unhealthy systems and abuses in our world. (For more on this, please read “The Womenifesto”).

So the next time you see what society calls an “angry woman”, I hope you recognize the pain, the power, and the courage it has taken for her to show up in this way.

Imagine if instead of judging or shaming her for breaking social norms for how a woman is expected to present herself, we huddled around her, held her, and heard her.

And imagine if women everywhere allowed themselves to feel angry about what is happening to our environment and the horrific traumas being inflicted upon countless human beings in these ongoing wars.

There is a transformative power to women’s collective anger, and it is time that we awaken it and channel it, not only to save ourselves from unhealthy relationships, workplaces, and systems, but to save our planet and humanity.

And for those who believe that feeling anger is not spiritual, I invite you to explore how you might be using spiritual bypass to avoid the painful emotions that might challenge you to step out of your comfort zone.

We are powerful women leaders and we have the capacity to feel our anger AND express it in peaceful and productive ways.

We can feel angry, while still being compassionate.

We can be loud, while still being respectful of others.

And we can be firm, while still being loving and kind.

May we FINALLY give ourselves (and each other) the permission and the space to connect with our anger,

And may we use its powerful energy to advocate for the health, safety, and thriving of all.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope and pray that these words reach every woman around the world…

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Most Powerful Form of Rest

My dear friends,

I am thrilled to be writing to you again and today’s topic is absolutely critical to our thriving, so let’s dive in.

In our modern world, most individuals typically rest by resting the body and if they are not sleeping, they are watching a show, catching up on world events, talking on the phone, reading, scrolling on the phone, brainstorming next steps, or going through the mental laundry list of things they need to accomplish.

We too often forget to incorporate a very important component of rest and that is to rest our minds.

Our minds are constantly bombarded with information and external stimulation. Even when we shut out the external noise, many are consumed with internal chatter, and endless analysis of the past and worries about the future.

I had never actually thought of it in this way until recently but learning to be mentally at peace in the present moment is THE most powerful and rejuvenating form of rest there is.

It is the kind of rest that we need in order to usher in new and better possibilities for our lives.

It is the kind of rest that allows us to break away from the old stories and repeating patterns and create the space for creative ideas and solutions to flow in.

It is the kind of rest that makes it possible for us to truly thrive.

But it takes practice, a lot of self-compassion, and a tremendous amount of courage to allow ourselves to feel safe enough to fully rest our minds in the present moment.

It takes courage to rest in the here and now and surrender the need to control and predict future outcomes.

It takes courage to trust that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and to allow ourselves to simply rest, just as we are now.

It takes courage to forgive ourselves and others for the past and to nestle into the limitless possibilities of the present moment.

It takes courage to love ourselves enough to allow mental rest and peace in a loud and disturbing world.

To rest your mind means to make peace with who you are and where you are - and it takes courage to do that.

It means giving yourself the grace to grow and evolve in your own perfect timing, without the need to force, shame, or manipulate the process.

It also means choosing to walk through life with faith, instead of fear.

It is from this place where all that we have sought can find its way to us.

And it is from this place within each of us, where our world will begin to know peace.

Even if it is just for a few fleeting moments to start, this is a type of rest worth taking over, and over, and over again.

I hope this is the reminder you needed today and that you allow yourself to rest your mind more as you move through life and as you continue to thrive.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

Redefining “Home”

Dear friends,

Today marks exactly eight months since I flew out of Los Angeles.

Since then, I have been led on an adventure of a lifetime and have lived and traveled across five countries and three continents.

These travels have allowed for many unforgettable and life-changing experiences. They have also offered invaluable lessons and insights, one of which has been redefining what “home” means.

I now believe home to be wherever and whenever we feel safe and at peace with ourselves.

Home is wherever and whenever we have surrendered and are moving in alignment with the moment-to-moment guidance of our inner being.

Home is wherever and whenever we are fully present in the here and now.

As much as I have missed my loved ones and the comforts of living in my own home, I am incredibly grateful for the ability to feel at home at any moment, anywhere in the world.

The power we feel once we are truly home and at peace with ourselves in the present moment is indescribable.

This power gives us the ability to savor the fullness of life regardless of our external environment and circumstances.

This power gives us the confidence and courage to navigate our way through any and all challenges.

This power allows us to embrace the unknown and the unfamiliar, and pioneer the new.

This power allows us to feel fully alive and enjoy dancing with life.

We need this power to thrive as human beings, as women, and as leaders who are ushering in a new and healthier world order.

Developing this power and the ability to consistently come home to the present moment and find peace, love, and safety with ourselves is the most important work any of us will ever do.

The remarkable part is that once we start walking on this path, all the teachers, experiences, and resources to support us start to emerge as well. All we need to do is to stay open and curious and take it one moment at a time.

I know that if you have been reading and enjoying these letters that you are already well on your way home. I hope and pray that these letters find you when you need them and that they continue to nudge and guide you home.

For now, I’ll be taking my regular summer break to recharge and I look forward to being back with more updates and nourishing letters in September. I have no idea where I’ll be geographically by then, but I hope to continue being “home”.

May we all find our way home,

May we all remember to keep returning home,

And may we thrive!

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Advocate You Need

Dear friends,

For today’s letter, I have a powerful story to share with you that highlights the #1 advocate you need to thrive. Let’s get to it!

A brilliant, talented, generous, and extremely resilient friend of mine had been struggling for a long time.

She was being stretched incredibly thin at home as a new mom and at work where she was required to do the job of two full-time employees while holding a new leadership role.

For two years, she repeatedly told her manager that she was burning out. She wasn’t heard and instead, she was gaslighted into thinking that she was the problem and needed to toughen up to keep up with the demands of leadership.

Eventually her situation got so bad that she would dread going to work. She was so overwhelmed that she would start crying from the moment she got into her car in the morning until she arrived at work. She would then continue to cry all the way back home later in the day.

Her husband kept encouraging her to stay the course as he assumed she had just hit a rough patch and didn’t want her to miss out on the career growth opportunities she had worked so hard for. Her income was also essential to supporting their household, but she was too drained to start looking for other positions.

She was also physically struggling to function so she went to her doctor hoping they would advocate for her to take some time off of work. Her doctor told her that “stress is a normal part of life” and she can write her a note for one or two days off of work and prescribe some medication to help her cope, but that is it.

My friend knew that she had coped for long enough and her circumstances needed to change, but she was not yet ready to rock the boat herself.

Finally, one day as she cried all the way back home from work, she realized that she had reached the end of her rope.

After a lifetime of people-pleasing and making everyone else comfortable at her own expense, she decided to stand up for herself and demand change, even if this meant putting her career and household’s finances at risk for a period of time.

She told her workplace that she was being required to do the job of two full-time employees and this was not acceptable. She was also required to physically come into work every day and waste time commuting to just sit in an office and do all of her work via email and Zoom. This didn’t make any sense. She said to them that she was completely burnt out and could not go on and was willing to walk out if something didn’t change.

This finally got their attention.

They immediately not only cut her responsibilities in half to a normal full-time role (instead of two full-time roles packaged into one) while keeping her full salary, but also agreed to allow her to work from home.

When she called me this week with this update, she sounded lighter, happier, and more confident than ever!

Instead of waiting on her manager, husband, or doctor to see her struggles and intervene to save her somehow, she stepped up and saved herself.

She loved how powerful and confident she was feeling and she was incredibly proud of herself - as she should be.

Her story presents many lessons especially around improving the workplace culture, supporting working parents, and actually hearing employees and patients. It also highlights a key reminder that we all need and a lesson that took me (and my friend) a very long time to learn:

You are the only person who can save you.

You are the only person who can truly know what you are going through and what you need.

And you are the only person who you can count on to always be there for you and advocate for you.

This doesn’t mean that you need to go through life alone - in fact, you are not meant to.

But if you don’t see your needs, your worth, your limits, your capabilities, and your power, no one else will either.

You also won’t know which situations and people are healthy for you and your thriving and which ones are not.

YOU are the #1 advocate you need.

So commit to yourself.

Show up for yourself.

And advocate for yourself and demand change as best as you can in the unhealthy systems that we operate in - the systems that benefit from you believing that you are the problem (for more on this, please check out “The Womenifesto”).

Be your own safe space, your own protector, your own champion, your biggest cheerleader, and your number one fan.

You deserve to feel believed, heard, valued, and supported, and it all starts with believing, hearing, valuing, and supporting yourself.

May you continue to advocate for yourself and may you thrive.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

P.S. If you need some guidance on how to ask for more and advocate for yourself, tune into my podcast conversation with Alexandra Carter, world-renowned negotiator and the author of Ask For More.

Make time Work For You

Dear friends,

You can’t rush the sunrise.

You can’t rush through this season of your life.

You can’t force flowers to blossom and trees to bear fruit before they are ready to do so.

As much as many of us in this community believe in the possibility of sudden shifts and transformations, we need to also remember that some things do need time to ripen and so do we.

Often, this ripening is a lot slower than we would like.

As frustrating and scary as this process can be given the urgent needs and external pressures we may be facing, I invite you to consider the possibility that time is working for you, not against you.

Time is here to serve you and your job is to work with time so it can better work for you.

What you don’t want to be doing is waiting around for this season to pass and calling it “surrendering”. This is a recipe for a lot of frustration, spiritual bypass, and unnecessary delays.

You also don’t want to be constantly gritting, grinding, and draining yourself trying to force this season to pass more quickly. That is a waste of your valuable energy, attention, and focus, which will also lead to unnecessary delays.

What you want to be doing is being and flowing in the present moment: Being fully present, curious, and open to receiving the lessons and experiences that time has brought in for you. And taking it moment… by moment… by moment…

This means breathing through the discomfort you feel as you meet the edges of new growth, instead of grabbing your phone to scroll it away.

This means allowing yourself to find moments of joy and lovingly supporting yourself, even if external circumstances don’t seem to be going your way.

This means learning to be still and get quiet in a fast and loud world so you can hear the guidance that is waiting to show you the way.

This means stepping up to take action when you are guided to do so, even when you are feeling scared and want to run away.

This means releasing attachments to outcomes and timelines, and trusting that you’ll be taken care of along the way.

The quickest and smoothest WAY through this ripening season can only be found by working with this time and being fully engaged in the here and now.

And then one day, the strangest thing will happen… You will find yourself thanking time!

You’ll say to time, “Thank you for taking as long as you did. Thank you for bringing me opportunities to grow so I could receive this new season and enjoy it as much as I am enjoying it now. Thank you for looking out and working for me.”

And time will say, “Thank you for being present with me. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for working with me.”

So work with time if you want time to work for you.

Be here. Be present. Don’t let the outside noise and distractions pull you away.

Stay focused on your growth and know that you are already well on your way.

May you continue to thrive,

And may you rise, blazing like the sun, in your own perfect time.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Difference Between Being a Strong Woman and a Powerful Woman

Dear friends,

Despite popular belief, being a strong woman is not something we should be aiming for.

We deserve to be powerful women and there are key differences between the two:

A strong woman endures the status quo, a powerful woman pioneers the new.

A strong woman loves everyone while forgetting about herself, a powerful woman loves everyone with the overflow of love she feels for herself.

A strong woman mostly advocates for others, a powerful woman knows how to also advocate for herself.

A strong woman always gives, a powerful woman knows how to also receive.

A strong woman overrides her body’s needs, a powerful woman works with her body.

A strong woman fights her emotions, a powerful woman befriends her emotions.

A strong woman is afraid to rest, a powerful woman embraces rest.

A strong woman doesn’t think of her joy, a powerful woman lives in joy.

A strong woman is always on guard, a powerful woman is always assured.

A strong woman pushes and forces, a powerful woman flows and trusts.

A strong woman carries everything and everyone, a powerful woman surrenders everything and everyone.

A strong woman battles the critics, a powerful woman protects her peace.

A strong woman is busy surviving, a powerful woman enjoys thriving.

Like many women, I spent most of my life being a strong woman not because I wanted to be but because I had to be, and because I didn’t know it was possible to be any other way.

The transition from one to the other has not been an easy one in the world that we live in, but one that I wish for every strong woman out there to experience.

Together, we can create a world where women feel safe enough to not have to live in survival mode and be strong all the time,

A world where women can fully embody the power they have always had within them,

And a world that allows everyone to thrive.

Thank you all so much for being a part of this mission with me.

May you never have to be strong, may you always remember how powerful you are, and may you continue to thrive.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh