How to Avoid Holding Yourself Back From Further Success
Dear friends,
For today’s letter, I'm thrilled to share insights from my research, "Women Lean Back When Representing Others in Competitions", recently published in the Journal of Behavioral and Experimental Economics. Let’s explore how the findings can support you on your leadership journey and reveal the two crucial steps you can take to propel you towards continued success.
Research Overview:
My research illuminates how the responsibility that is a common feature of most leadership positions (i.e. representing others’ interests) impacts men and women differently. This could help explain the persistent gender gaps in leadership, and why you might be holding yourself back on your leadership journey.
Whether it is representing employees and investors of a company and competing for market share or representing voters and stakeholders in political office and competing for resources, the responsibility of representing the economic interests of others is a key feature of many top-level leadership positions.
In this research study, I examined the role that being a ‘representative’ plays in the competition behavior of women and men.
Research Findings:
In a subject pool of similarly ambitious and qualified men and women, just as men and women in leadership positions, I found that when only representing themselves, women and men show similar competition behavior and confidence.
However, when charged with the responsibility of being a 'representative', female ‘representatives’ were less likely to enter into competitions than male ‘representatives’ and self-representing women.
The leaning back of female ‘representatives’ from competition entry as compared to self-representing women is largely attributed to these women experiencing lower levels of confidence and being less likely to enter a competition when they guessed their performance to be less than the best.
This suggests that women's other-regarding preferences may be at play, with women being concerned about the payoff to their ‘constituent’ if they are not the top performer.
Furthermore, compared to male ‘representatives’, female ‘representatives’ were significantly less confident in their abilities, which explained the gender gap in competition entry amongst other-representing individuals.
Insights for Your Leadership Journey:
The findings suggest that perhaps the prospect of having to engage in future competition and represent others (a key feature of most leadership positions) may deter women from pursuing positions that require the representation role. If so, this could help explain the persistent gender gaps in leadership and could relate to you as well.
I invite you to take a few minutes to reflect on your own leadership journey. Have you ever held yourself back from taking more responsibility, pursuing a leadership role, or starting a venture or expanding the one you already have? Did your hesitations involve the fear of disappointing or inadvertently hurting others—family, friends, investors, employees, or other stakeholders?
Give yourself a moment to appreciate your capacity to care for others. This trait doesn’t put you at a disadvantage but, in fact, signifies your worthiness for leadership positions and the responsibilities they carry.
It is caring and compassionate people like you who are meant to step into positions of power, because when you are there, you will not just be thinking of yourself and how much you will gain, you will be concerned about the impact of your decisions and behaviors on others.
But I know that if you truly care, this responsibility can feel heavy, scary, and daunting at times, which could impact your confidence and hold you back.
The reality is that as a leader (and a human being), you will make mistakes, have setbacks, and disappoint others along the way – that is simply a natural and vital part of any growth process.
Unfortunately, we can be very hard on ourselves and our world can be harsh to women being less than perfect or making mistakes, especially if they are in positions of influence. While there is much to be done to heal our world and the systems that we operate in, there are two crucial steps that you can take to protect yourself and continue to propel yourself towards success (and help heal our world in the process).
The first, as I explained in my previous letter, is being self-compassionate and cultivating safety within yourself, which will significantly influence your ability to lead authentically, to make mistakes, and to grow.
Self-compassion and having the capacity to hold yourself gently during periods of growth and discomfort is the cornerstone for your continued success.
Secondly, it is essential that you cultivate external safety and surround yourself with light-filled and love-filled people who you know will have your back, hold you with love, and lift you up, especially during challenging times. Having individuals in your life who nourish you and with whom you can safely be raw and vulnerable with is absolutely critical to your success and thriving as a leader. Finding these people and cultivating these relationships is one of the best investments you can ever make. You are not meant to be in this alone and you don’t have to be.
Additionally, both of these steps support your nervous system, which has a huge impact on your overall wellbeing and how show up in the world. I will write about this more soon, but for now, I hope this letter inspires you to prioritize creating internal and external safety for yourself and that you keep on growing, leading, and sharing your light with the world.
May you always be supported (internally and externally), and may you continue to thrive!
With love and gratitude,
Maliheh