How Founders Can Avoid Losing Their "Why" and Their Way
Dear friends,
When we lose our connection with our “why”, we also gradually start to lose our way and our creativity. We struggle with motivation, procrastination, chronic stress, and fatigue, and get into the mode of simply existing, surviving, and putting out fires, instead of joyfully thriving.
We may KNOW what our “why” is from an intellectual level, we may even remind ourselves of it regularly and have it plastered on our walls, in our company mission statements, and all over our office spaces, but if we don’t consistently FEEL connected with it in our hearts, that’s where things start to unravel.
I advise female founders and all of them start out their entrepreneurship journey driven by their “why”. They initially know exactly who they want to serve and why and are feeling the burning fire to follow their “why”. They overcome so many obstacles and start building amazing companies that are having a positive impact on the world. But eventually, the weight of day-to-day demands, expectations, and challenges start wearing them down, and before they know it, some find themselves lost, drained, exhausted, and on the brink of shutdown.
Obviously, there could be many other contributing factors, but for purpose-driven founders, I’ve observed that feeling disconnected from their “why” is often a common one. I’ve definitely been there myself, too, and it is a painful and confusing experience. Fortunately, it has resulted in a lot of growth, and from this experience, I have developed a sustainable solution that I’m about to share with you.
From a behavioral science perspective, and as James Clear explains in Atomic Habits (one of my favorite books by the way!), “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.”
To truly flourish as a leader and as a founder, you need to design an efficient system to keep you consistently connected with your “why” intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
The goal is to build a system that gives you the greatest feeling of connection and the most significant return for your time for the least amount of resistance and investment. What this would look like for you would be highly dependent on your current situation and your unique environment, needs, personality, and preferences.
I have developed a whole methodology that helps me identify what would work best for my clients, but at the core, your system needs two key elements:
At least one intervention that helps you FEEL your “why” on a regular basis. The best way that I’ve found to do this for my clients and I is to find a way to experience and FEEL the impact our products or services are having on the end-user (i.e. the actual people we are serving and/or trying to serve). When was the last time you felt that you were making a difference in your customers’ lives? How did you become aware of this impact and the feeling? How could you keep replicating this? Brainstorm a list and make sure the intervention you choose has the following components:
It is done in a way that is efficient, easy to implement, and also truly nourishing, enjoyable (dare I say even “fun”), and energizing to you. We are not trying to create more work for you. We are trying to add nourishment and inspiration to give you a boost of energy to get through the rest of your work with greater joy and ease.
It is scheduled to be experienced on a periodic and consistent basis. Determining the frequency is very important. You don’t want to overdo it and overwhelm yourself, but you want to make sure that you ALWAYS stay nourished and maintain a rhythm that is sustainable for you.
It needs to provide you with variety so this practice doesn’t just become something you start doing out of habit and eventually lose interest in. Variety helps you the curiosity and joy of it alive.
A brief, yet potent, daily practice. This is to help you continue the momentum and not let a single day pass without experiencing the joy of knowing and feeling your “why”. When is a good time for you to sit for five minutes to drop into your heart and feel your “why”? What can help you access this heart space quickly and easily? Do you have an established habit that you can pair this new daily practice with?
To illustrate, here is an example from a founder that I’ve worked with:
Based on her background, journey, vision, personality, interests, business needs, and curiosity, we designed a system for her to have weekly calls with the actual end users of her company’s technology. We even came up with a fun name for the weekly calls that made her smile and look forward to it every time she looked at her calendar. This intervention gave her customers a chance to feel valued, seen, and heard by connecting with the Founder and CEO directly. Not to mention, it provided my client with so much joy to connect with these individuals and hear how they were using her technology to improve their lives. As an added bonus, by hearing the users’ stories, experiences, and feedback, my client received plenty of ideas on how to improve her technology and the user experience. She was able to brainstorm new ideas with existing customers and see their genuine reactions. So in a way, this system also doubled as a source of consistent qualitative field research for her. And because each week she met with a completely new individual, it kept her curious and engaged.
In addition, she was to take five minutes every day to set a conscious intention for her workday, really FEEL her why, and dedicate the work that she was about to do to the individuals she was serving. She was to do this every morning when she already had the habit of reviewing her calendar for the day, so it was easy for her to remember and implement. This helped her step into the space of feeling love for her work and approaching the day with enthusiasm for all that she could accomplish and the impact that she could have.
My client literally couldn’t wait to get off the call with me to start implementing this system, and she did. It helped her stay connected with her “why” and feel alive, energized, and creative again. It made a world of difference for her, her company, and her customers.
It is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all system and our needs continue to change, so our systems need to adapt as well. We are all different and you need to explore, experiment, and intentionally design a system that works best for you and continue to improve it.
Of course, there are situations where individuals realize that their company and/or work is not making a positive impact and that could be what is draining them. That is a whole different conversation we can have at another time. Or it could be that your “why” is related to something other than the impact of your business. You can still use the same approach and build a system around connecting with the positive feeling of your “why”.
Assuming that your business is already making a positive impact (or it is on its way there) and that is what your “why” is related to, I truly hope these reminders and strategies help you develop the systems necessary to support you.
You deserve to feel energized, nourished, and to show up with your full presence - radiating with light, love, and joy!
And thank you for being part of my system of connecting with my “why”. Writing these letters, receiving your responses, and connecting with you nourishes me more than you could imagine.
Sending you my love and gratitude,
Maliheh