How to Dance with Uncertainty
Dear friends,
The only certainty in life is uncertainty. None of us know what will happen in our lives next year, next month, next week, or even in the next hour. Literally, anything could happen!
Depending on your nervous system, your mindset, and the situation, you can either feel terrified by this prospect or be super excited, or feel a mix of emotions somewhere in between.
Today, I want to share with you how you can dance with uncertainty and continue to thrive in the process.
As human beings, we are hardwired to seek safety. For many women, this translates into avoiding uncertainty and risky decisions, even if they might yield better outcomes and opportunities for learning and expansion.
We often choose to stay in our comfort zones and with the familiar, while missing out on all the growth, magic, and wonder that life has to offer.
We also spend much of our valuable time and energy trying to predict and control future outcomes, while missing out on the gifts and lessons of the present moment.
And for some of us, we tend to find safety in our routines, coping mechanisms, schedules, people, and places that are familiar, even if they are not healthy for us and don’t support our thriving.
On top of all of this, most of us have been conditioned to pursue external sources of psychological and physical safety (e.g. through the approval and acceptance of others), which can create unhealthy attachments and rigidity that make going through waves of expansion and uncertainty incredibly painful and difficult.
None of this is our fault. The world has been unsafe for women since the dawn of time and much of our current systems have not been designed for women’s thriving. Our nervous systems can only take so much, so it is understandable when we hold on to whatever we can to have some sense of safety, even if it might be holding us back.
How our need for safety translates into our behaviors and decisions is significantly shaped by our past experiences and personal and generational traumas. For many of us, if we don’t comfort and heal those parts of us that are governed by these experiences, we will face uncertainty (and so much of life) with resistance, rigidity, fear, and anxiety.
THE most important work that any of us can ever do is the inner work of cultivating safety within ourselves. This will open us up to living more authentically, walking our purpose in the midst of uncertainty, and becoming the powerful agents of change that our world desperately needs.
In “The Womenifesto”, I share 11 essentials reminders you need to create safety within yourself and learn to dance with uncertainty as you step into your purpose.
Please take a few minutes to read it if you haven’t already (it is free and available here) and reread it as often as you need to.
Being able to dance with uncertainty is the next frontier in our evolution as powerful women, leaders, and changemakers.
Instead of rigidity, we want to aim for agility. We want to learn to flow with life’s contractions and expansions, welcome the waves of growth with openness and curiosity, and be present and compassionate with our day-to-day emotions and experiences.
When you feel safe within yourself and start walking in your purpose (even when you don’t have clarity on where it is leading), you will not only be able to tolerate uncertainty, but you can learn to dance with it and even thrive in the process. You will also have a greater capacity to innovate, create, and challenge the status quo.
Even when life hits you with unexpected hardships, you can move through them and come out on the other side, stronger, brighter, and wiser than ever.
May you dance with the waves of life and may you continue to thrive.
With love and gratitude,
Maliheh